By SHENA NEWTON
(NOTE: I saw this post on Facebook and was very impressed by its powerful message, so I contacted Shena Newton and asked her permission to run it as a Guest Commentary, a new feature we are starting in BAHAMAS CHRONICLE.)
NASSAU, Bahamas — I have a co-worker who has a son. Over the years, in talking with her I have caught a glimpse of how she raises her son as a single mother. By the time her son was 10, he could cook a simple meal and iron his clothes. She would encourage him to master these tasks by saying, “Tee, you know one day you’re going to have a wife and children, and you have to know how to help your wife take care of the children.” As he grew older, her son would often casually throw similar remarks into conversations with her, “Well, Mummy, you know when I have my wife and children, I will have to do so and so.”
As I reflect on these reported conversations between my co-worker and her son, I realize that in raising her son, she was preparing him and putting him in the frame of mind to take on the role of husband and father. As a society we consciously condition our girls to become wives and mothers: “Girl, you better learn to cook; if you can’t cook, your husband will send you back home.” But we fail to do the same with our boys. I think more of us need to follow the example of my co-worker. Let’s drop into the spirit of our young boys that they are going to be husbands and fathers.
Boys constantly hearing that they are going to be husbands and fathers will no doubt result in the rising up of a new generation of men who will stand beside their women and jointly shoulder the task of raising a family. In His ultimate wisdom, God designed the family to be headed by a two-person management team.
For too long, the Black woman has had to shoulder the responsibility of the family all by herself, and this is a major contributing factor to the breakdown of the Black family. Parents, let’s condition our boys to realize that being a good husband and a father are part and parcel of their future. In so many homes, there is no father or husband; so women, we have to speak the future role of husbands and fathers into the lives of our boys.
I saw my co-worker’s son just the other day. I couldn’t believe it. When I first met my co-worker, her son was only four years old. Now, there he was, a tall, handsome young man going into grade 12. As I looked at him, I couldn’t help thinking what a fine husband he’ll be to some young lady one day. All because his mother spoke it into being.
Shena Newton is a writer and editor at the Bahamas Ministry of Tourism. Outside of her professional writing, Shena indulges her passion for creative writing with short stories and vignettes which she regularly posts to Facebook. Shena is a lifelong student of foreign languages (French, Spanish and Haitian Creole). Her other hobbies include reading, long, one-on-one conversations, traveling and walking. From her 35 years of marriage with her beloved spouse Andrew Newton (deceased) Shena has two adult children, Lofton and Sheandra, and one grandson Zephyr. She can be contacted at bahamareader@yahoo.com
